Tag: words

The crumb underneath your piece of paper that makes your writing go
funny at just the wrong moment

To spot an emerging idea on the web, nicking it and then spinning it
for the mass-market – thereby making a quick, reliable and slightly
iffy buck.

That moment where you nearly get out of the lift on the wrong floor

A small ripple in one’s in-sole that makes it painful to walk

that annoying field in a web form that asks you to type your email address a second time

To be sent the long way round by direction signs on the Underground
when there are much quicker, unsigned routes

Programmes that require minimal brain power to enjoy. Invaluable when whacked after a long week – eg, Inspector Morse repeats

Toilet door signs with ambiguous graphics to deliberately blur the
distinction between the men’s and women’s.

(can theme pub designers just stop doing this? It was novel in the
1980s)

A coaster that sticks to the bottom of your cup/glass and then
falls on the floor

The uncertainty that comes from a foreign traffic light showing an
unexpected pattern – eg,flashing green

A motel shower curtain that billows in the steam, clinging to your
side like a soggy nylon magnet

A leaving do gift that is left behind in the drunken cab ride home

The distracting tiny fluffy ball of ink that forms on the nib of a
biro when writing

A dog poo that requires both hands to pick up. Named after the Irish goalkeeper’s famously large mitts

Spam from your friends – crap jokes, Threshers vouchers, invitations
to join yet another social network etc.

A spoon in the sink lying at exactly the right angle to spurt water all over you as soon as the tap is turned on

Cheap rhetorical trick of making someone look evasive by forcing upon them a limited choice of answers when the situation is really more complex.

“Will you absolutely, 100% commit to saving the planet, yes or no? It’s a simple question!”

A restaurant whose prices are more substantial than their portions

To deliberately wait till someone’s phone is off before calling – thus allowing you to leave a message rather than actually have to say it to them

The socially awkward situation of leaving work at the same time as a little-known colleague and then having to make small talk with them all the way to the train station.

Frinkling is so hideous to the British that they will often make up imaginary errands or take wild detours to avoid being forced to think up non-work subjects with the man from accounts.